Thursday, August 31, 2006
Who's Jackin' who?
A FEDERAL magistrate has branded “farcical” the control order put on terror suspect Jack Thomas that bans him from having contact with Osama bin Laden.
Graham Mowbray said it seemed “silly” to have the terror boss on a list of 50 people Mr Thomas is not to have contact or associate with when the al-Qaida’s bosses whereabouts were unknown.
Mr Mowbray urged Australian Federal Police to urgently review the list. But Government lawyers disagreed saying Mr Thomas, 33, was known to have had face-to-face contact with bin Laden on at least three occasions in the past. “Mr bin Laden’s whereabouts are unknown and we couldn’t presume there is absolutely no possibility of contact,” Tom Howe said.
Mr Howe, representing the Australian Government Solicitor, said he was happy to consider the magistrate’s request to review the list, but disagreed with the criticisms of the inclusion of bin Laden’s name.
Lex Lasry, QC, for Mr Thomas told the Federal Magistrates’ Court the list also contained the names of 13 people who were dead or in custody.
But again Government lawyers disagreed, noting that information received from reliable sources indicated that "Jihad" (no pejorative intended at all at all of course) Jack had taken secretly taken delivery of an ASDL ouija board, the purpose of which would be obvious to any red, white and blue, alert but not alarmed "I still call Austria home" patriot. "This man will stop a nothing to make contact with his Al Qaeda penpals", said somebody who claimed he had a couple of faded polaroids of "Jihad" (no pejorative intended at all at all) Jack and Osama bin Laden chewing the fat and swapping DYI bomb recipes downloaded from Al Gore's Internet at the "The Men’s Gallery", Lonsdale St, Melbourne Australia.
The spokesperson also drew attention to anyone still listening to a recent disturbing incident and asked why, in light of the details outlined, "Jihad" (no pejorative intended at all at all) Jack should not be subject to a curfew.
Police are investigating a mass shooting of fur seals at a colony on Kanowna Island, off Wilson’s Promontory in Victoria.
The shooting happened late yesterday and police say most of the 40 seals involved were killed.
It was witnessed by three Deakin University researchers who reported the shots came from a fishing boat.
The spokesmonkey explained that it was unreasonable for people to to characterise the Government's policy as being in anyway repressive, vindictive or unjust.
"As well as our obvious concern for the Australian public, we are most deeply and personally concerned with the welfare of "Jihad-would-you-trust-this-man-with-your-unencrypted-library-card" Jack, notwithstanding his close, near biblical relations with the heinous Osama bin Laden and his devious plotting with assorted deceased Al Qaeda operatives."
"It may come as a surprise to many of the too clever by half, sceptical, chardonnay-swilling, latte-sipping, whale-hugging chattering classes that only this week we saved "Jihad" (no pejorative intended at all at all) Jack from joining the queue of badly dressed misfits confessing to the the murder of JonBenet Ramsey. Just because we are charged with the protection of the Australian community and the relatively comfortable Coalitian majority doesn't mean we can't see the trees for the would be destroyers of "The Lucky Country"
"It should be of concern to those people who would give "Jihad" (no pejorative intended at all at all) Jack a home free card that he has yet to give law enforcement authorities, "That's Life", "Who" magazine or Naomi Robson details of his whereabouts when the Chandler-Bogle murder went down."
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
